Saturday, November 30, 2013

He Likes Me and Other Observations About God

I'm 35. Sometimes I feel 35. Other times - most times - I feel like I could still be one of the teenagers I work with. Then I hang out with them and realize that, no, I'm most certainly not a teenager anymore. Even though, yes, I agree with them that Josh Hutcherson is cute and I can understand why they swoon over One Direction (hello, the new Nsync).

If living over here and working at an MK school has taught me anything it has taught me that we are ALWAYS growing and learning. Everyday. I have never claimed to be perfect nor have I ever acted like I was. I can sometimes get a little snooty about theatre stuff but I think we can all get a little pretentious over the things that we find important. It has also taught me that sometimes we have to work outside of our giftings. I'm not an administrator. I know that might shock some of you (and I mean that with all the sarcasm it was intended to mean) and when I have to take on that role, it literally makes my head spin in circles. I'm not organized (those of you who know me can stop laughing out loud since you already knew this years ago) and when I pretend to think that I am, it usually blows up in my face.

Yesterday, a friend spoke in Chapel and her message was about the fact that no matter what, God loves us. No matter how we are feeling about ourselves or how we might perceive things, God loves us. He's quite fond of us is how she stated it. My view of God hasn't always been that of a positive thing. Had you asked me in college what I thought of him, I'd probably tell you he was up in heaven shaking his fist at me or that he was quite distant. Sometimes I still feel that way, especially when I have pitted the whole world against me (in my head of course).  But the truth is ---he loves me. And as my friend stated yesterday, he even likes me (don't you think sometimes it's easier to say you love someone than like them, especially in Christian circles because let's be honest we know we have to love them? Also, if you are an English teacher reading this, don't judge. I realize I just made that a huge run-on sentence). I am HIS beloved. HIS.

Do you know what the Myers-Briggs test is? If you don't, it's like this really big personality test that I've taken several times and that we are working through here at BFA. I'm an ENFP (Extrovert iNtuitive Feeling Perception). I'm an ENFP to the extreme. Like the ENFP for all ENFPs. My Feeler (the F) is off the charts and I remember an administrator friend of mine telling me a few years ago "be careful. that feeler can get overly sensitive and can get you in trouble." That has happened so many times. But learning to accept that I am a sensitive person and that God likes that about me because he created me to be that way makes me realize that it's OK. The Feeler doesn't define me. God defines me. And I will mess up. I will make mistakes. People won't like me. People will judge me. But in learning that I am loved (and liked) by a big God always helps to put that into perspective.

I hope you know God likes you, too.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Early Thanksgivings

Last Sunday, Justina & I were invited to have dorm Thanksgiving at Liel dorm. We had a great time eating yummy food and visiting with our good friends, Tara & Melisssa, who are RAs there:

Today, we were invited to spend the day at the Campbell family's house with some other awesome BFA families and their kids. We started off the day with flag football (yes, I played!), then went back to the house for hot cider and appetizers, and then a delicious Thanksgiving dinner! When we were finished with dinner, we had a sweet time of talking together about what makes us thankful and unthankful for things in our life. The evening ended with dessert and lots of laughing :)

I'm extremely thankful for this sweet community the Lord has given to me. Today and last week were both times of getting to spend a holiday that could be quite lonely over here with our dorm family and our friends who are like family.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

The Man Who Came to Dinner

Where to begin? Do I start by saying that I still feel like we just had auditions yesterday? Or that I still feel like we should be opening in 2 weeks and not closing tonight? I had more fun with this cast than I've ever had before. Every night I came home and I would think to myself, "Wow. This is my job! I get to do THIS!"

If you're not familiar with the story line of the play, it is about Sheridan Whiteside, a famous radio orator, critic, and lecturer from the 1930s. Whiteside never goes out but is invited by the wealthy Stanley family to have dinner in Ohio. Upon arriving, he falls and injures his hip and is holed up in their home for 2 weeks. The play opens here, 2 weeks after his fall and it all goes downhill from there for the Stanley family. Whiteside's secretary, Maggie, falls in love with the local newspaper journalist, Bert Jefferson and because Whiteside is afraid of losing Maggie, he calls in his friend, actress Lorraine Sheldon, to come and try to lure Bert away from Maggie. In the end, his plan fails and on his way out of the house, he falls and injures himself again.

The play was a success among our community and I am beyond proud of my actors and crew who worked hard to bring this to life. As with any show ending, I always mourn it a little bit because it is somewhat like the breaking up of a family. All in all, it was a wonderful experience and one show that will always hold a special place in my heart.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Aligning My Heart

I am a member of a really cool group website called Single Roots, a community of singles like myself who share life together. Recently, I read a blog about aligning your heart with Christ and how that should be my prayer everyday. There have been several instances in the last 2 weeks where I have needed that prayer more than anything. I found myself praying it all day Wednesday and Thursday. Even today at dress rehearsal, I had it in the back of my mind. "Lord, align my heart with yours because when it's in your will that I rest, I won't be restless." That's kind of been my "mantra" if you will. Obviously, I'll still be restless because I'm an imperfect human being living in a fallen world. But I've found in the last few days of praying this simple prayer, that my heart has been more content than it has in a while. I'm not saying this will always be the case. It can't be completely content until I get to heaven. But I can at least rest knowing that His will and His desire for my life is far beyond my comprehension in this small little life I am living.