Sunday, November 27, 2011

Thanksgiving

This marked the last Thanksgiving I'll have in the States for a while.  My friend Joel was gracious enough to host at his apartment in Boston.  There were only five of us, but it was so much fun and very special to me to spend this last Turkey Day with people at GCTS who are like family.  We stayed over all day, watched all 3 original Star Wars movies, and had a lot of fun just being together!








Saturday, November 19, 2011

Sometimes...

This semester has been stressful.  Physically.  Emotionally.  Spiritually.  I've needed to get away and find rest.  True rest and peace.  And so last week I made the decision to take a little getaway trip to see the Antrims in Pennsylvania.



I mentioned before about transitioning out of life in the States into a new life for next year and this family knows all about that since we served together in Germany 4 years ago.  Last night we went and saw a play at the kids' high school and then came home and just sat in front of the TV doing nothing.  It was the most relaxed I'd been in a while.

This morning I slept in until 10 and we went and got breakfast at a little cafe up the road.  And now I should probably be working on assignments for class but I'm just enjoying the peace and solace of sitting on an oversized couch and listening to Ashleigh & Dale as they play on the Wii.  This is what my soul has needed for a while.  Just a time to reflect and pray and RELAX.

Ready for this weekend to be long and relaxing!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Support Raising

...is not an easy task, but completely faith based.  It continues to grow my faith daily as I begin this process.

Please let me know if you would like to hear more ;)

Alli

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Transitioning Out

I have six months left in Massachusetts and eight left in the States.  I realized that last night.  I also realized how much it has been affecting me.

Transitioning out is a tough process.  You're excited for the future that awaits, yet you also realize that the saying good-bye part is coming sooner than you would like it to come.  It kind of feels like a part of you is being asked to not exist anymore in the present but you have to because you're in that present.  And the other part of you knows you're existing in the present but is ready to move on to what is next because you know what is there.  You know what's expected and are ready to embrace it.  But because of where you are, you have to take a step back and live where you are, reminding yourself that the people and places around you will be around you for the next six months and you have to stay here in that realization.  Everyday you are awake, you know that the next day is just another day drawing nearer to the good-bye.

Not that everyday here has been cake.  There have definitely been struggles and as most of you know, it's the process that God has used to keep reminding me of His infinite grace and how big He is.  But I still love my friends here and the ones that have walked with me in those struggles are the ones that I am already mourning the loss of.  I know that I will see them again, that's not a question.  It's being in each other's lives on a day to day basis, watching the struggles and hardships, sharing a lot of laughs, tears, coffee, frustrations...and then one day you wake up and these people that you've spent all this time with, these people that know you better than a lot of other people, are gone and you have to start all over again in a new place, a new life, a new chapter.

The journey here has been rocky but at the same time I look back and I can smile because of who I got to share that journey with.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

What I'm learning...

My strength is pretty poor compared to His

My heart is wicked and unjust and in need of His Love

Self-pity is a big form of pride and of that I'm guilty

Acting like an orphan and despairing is relying on myself and not on a Father who wants me to put all of my trust in Him

What does it really look like to trust Him?

Just because something didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, that shouldn't mean that my whole day is ruined

He loves me.  No matter what.  Even when I screw up.  Which I do all the time.

He longs for me even when I don't long for him.

I need Him

He rejoices over me

When I feel shamed, that isn't from a loving Father, but from the enemy, who wants me to believe I am awful and have to fix it on my own.

There is a difference in guilt and conviction

Jesus. Loves. Me.

No matter how hard I try, I will never live up to the expectations I set for myself.  It's impossible.

He is enough. Period.

Pruning will never be an overnight miracle.  It's going to take the rest of my life because of the brokenness I live in.