I have six months left in Massachusetts and eight left in the States. I realized that last night. I also realized how much it has been affecting me.
Transitioning out is a tough process. You're excited for the future that awaits, yet you also realize that the saying good-bye part is coming sooner than you would like it to come. It kind of feels like a part of you is being asked to not exist anymore in the present but you have to because you're in that present. And the other part of you knows you're existing in the present but is ready to move on to what is next because you know what is there. You know what's expected and are ready to embrace it. But because of where you are, you have to take a step back and live where you are, reminding yourself that the people and places around you will be around you for the next six months and you have to stay here in that realization. Everyday you are awake, you know that the next day is just another day drawing nearer to the good-bye.
Not that everyday here has been cake. There have definitely been struggles and as most of you know, it's the process that God has used to keep reminding me of His infinite grace and how big He is. But I still love my friends here and the ones that have walked with me in those struggles are the ones that I am already mourning the loss of. I know that I will see them again, that's not a question. It's being in each other's lives on a day to day basis, watching the struggles and hardships, sharing a lot of laughs, tears, coffee, frustrations...and then one day you wake up and these people that you've spent all this time with, these people that know you better than a lot of other people, are gone and you have to start all over again in a new place, a new life, a new chapter.
The journey here has been rocky but at the same time I look back and I can smile because of who I got to share that journey with.