Monday, July 23, 2012

Can I Just Be Completely Honest?

It's Monday. I'm leaving (supposedly) 2 weeks from tomorrow. This weekend, I began to feel low. Stressed. Vulnerable. Anxious. Why? Because I was relying on myself. Again.

I was relying on myself to raise the 16% left for the ticket. I was putting it all on ME. It was about ME. And the thing is, with support raising, it's NOT. ABOUT. ME.

Yesterday, three more people committed to give monthly. And I didn't have to do anything. Why is it so hard for us to just sit back and let God do his thing? Because we're relinquishing control. It's simple enough to state that. It's simple enough to say, "I'm going to let God take control." Yet, when we do that, we all too quickly take it back. "No, God, you're really not big enough."  "No, God, you can't physically talk to these people like I can."  "No, God, just let me do my thing because you're too slow."  We don't voice this (or maybe you do, but I don't think I've ever voiced it aloud). But by our actions and by our stress levels, we definitely, deep down, begin to act like it.

It's not only with support raising, it's with anything in our lives that we do. Our reputation. Our identity. Our jobs. Even as I type this, as much as I wholeheartedly believe what I'm telling you, I'm also freaking out because the time frame is winding down. 2 weeks. TWO WEEKS.

We serve a God with no time frame. That's all I really need to remember.

15 days.

3 comments:

  1. This is really encouraging! I hit that freak out moment today and started to think that there was NO way I was going to get a ticket in two weeks time. Then comes the gentle reminders that it is not me doing it and God already knows when I need to be there and how I will get there. I don't have to do a thing but trust! Thanks for the reminder!

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  2. I'm praying for you, girl! Looking forward to future coffee dates (on Mondays of course!)

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  3. That sounds like a plan!!!=)

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