I got to go home this past weekend to sing for my dad's choir concert at his church. While there, I was also privileged to hear my aunt Reina speak at our church's women's Christmas banquet. She told a story that completely spoke to my heart and something I've really needed to hear in the last two months.
Some of you know about Mindy Love, the little girl from Haiti who my cousins fell in love with while doing ministry there. Mindy Love was adopted into a family and her adopted mom told this story to my aunt. I think it has much to do with our relationship with our Father:
When Mindy Love was first adopted, she didn't know how to act. She would drop a toy and pitch a fit, throwing herself on the floor, kicking and screaming. Her mother would pull Mindy Love into her lap and hold her while the little girl kicked and screamed, sometimes bruising her mom. Eventually, Mindy Love would calm down and rest and just let her mother hold her. Then she would look up and say "Ok! All better!" and jump off her mother's lap and go and play again...
Isn't this just like us? We fight with God because we think we know better and want our own way. Yet, He holds us while we fight and then lets us rest when we give up. And then we decide we can do it all on our own again, jump off His lap, and go and play on our own. We act like orphans and are unsure if God really loves us when really we are children of a King who desperately wants us to crawl into his lap and cry out to him. I know that I am a perfect example of the aforementioned story. Always kicking and screaming, begging God to let me do things my way because it would get done better and faster if I could just do what I wanted. Then I ultimately make a mess of it and run back to Him when I'm at the end of my rope.
I don't think this pattern can ever change because of how depraved we are as human beings. We will always think our way is better, even when we don't want to admit it.